


Corkscrewed

by shes_ariot



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 19:21:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12091710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shes_ariot/pseuds/shes_ariot
Summary: "I'll come back, and we'll run away together," she whispered, wrapping her arms around me with me reciprocating instinctively after."Lauren we have to go soon," a man in an expensive suit walked into the room, looking down at his watch impatiently.She released her hold on me and carried her suitcases with both her hands, her backpack safely strapped on her shoulders.The man walked out with her trailing behind but before she completely walked out of the room, she looked at me with a sad smile, "I promise."That was five years ago.. Sometimes, you can't help but break a promise that's simply impossible to keep.Trigger Warning: Verbal, Physical and Emotional Abuse.





	1. The Beginning

Everyone has a morning ritual. Whether it was the norms like waking up and showering or a rare one like writing down dreams on a book while waiting for the day to start.

I have one weird one.

Every morning before the sun comes up, I would push a chair next to the window and with great effort, I would climb up. I would open the window with my small hands, lean on the window ledge and stare outside while waiting for yet another bright new day.

I never understood why I did that, but that never stopped me. Maybe it's because the sun never failed to show, because the sun is dependable while the world wasn't. Or maybe.. I just wanted to be just as bright as the sun.

But before anyone could wake up, I would close the window, move the chair back to it's original place and sleep again; or at least pretend to.

There were a few kids in the room but none of them could be trusted. Some of them bullied me when I was just 3 years old while the others just watched.

That's why I never really became close with them. They would rat me out if they knew that I opened the window that the Ms Smith strictly forbid us.

That was, until a girl named Lauren came.

-

I was sitting on the worn couch in the living room, listening to my foster brothers and sisters bicker over small things whilst reading a capturing book that I found outside, laying on the grass idly.

It wasn't the type of book any normal 5 year old would read, it was old, wordy, and simply deteriorated. I think that's the reason why I loved it; it had a story.

Who read it? Why were there so many stains on most of the pages? Why is it so worn? How many times did the previous owner read it?

So many questions that I wanted ask. But I can't, because the answers aren't there.

According to Ms Smith, my caregiver, she found me in the middle of the night at the doorstep of the house. There wasn't anything attached to me except for my name, Karla Camila, and my Date Of Birth.

But even as I was intrigued by the novel, I couldn't read. I went to preschool that time - thanks to the courtesy of the donators who provided money enough for us to buy books - but the teacher was so tedious when it came to teaching us.

So instead of waiting, I asked Ms Smith to teach me.

You see, this house had two caregiver, Ms Smith and her sister who was also technically Ms Smith, but she preferred if we call her by her first name, Madison.

Ms Smith was one of the most patient woman I have ever met. I didn't really know much adults that time but I wasn't that stupid to not know that. Her sister, however, was the complete opposite. She was rude and despised each one us kids in the house saying that we were and I quote , 'A waste of time and energy.' I don't even understand how she was granted to actually take care us.

One time, I even heard her say, "You know Stacy? You should just stop wasting your life on these kids. If their own parents didn't want them, what makes you think that the others would?"

I couldn't blame her. We were the outcast, treated like rubbish because we weren't what our parents needed.

But Ms Smith was fuming when she heard it. She shouted at her sister, yelling that we deserve a chance and that the reason why we were thrown out wasn't because of us but because of our said parents. She said the we were worth more than everything in this world because we would be the one bringing change into the world one day.

Ms Smith believed in us, and that's why I love her. She never treated any on us badly. She never shouted at us like she shouted at her sister that night. Don't get me wrong, she was capable of being angry at us, but for valid reasons.

So after I begged her to teach me how to read, before 9 pm, Ms Smith would bring me to the dining room while the others were upstairs getting ready for bed and she would teach me ever so slowly and patiently until I understood how an alphabet worked.

Until I eventually knew how to read.

Anyway, I was reading the book on the couch when a knock woke me up from my day dream. One of the foster kids opened the door, revealing a girl with a man dressed in a suit. Ms Smith was in the kitchen when it happened, washing dishes.

The girl was pale, looking lost and vulnerable while she was holding the man's hand. Her hair was brown and thick, along with her eyebrows. But it wasn't that that caught my eye, it was her bright eyes.

It looked so bright that I was reminded of the sunrise I saw just hours ago. And just like the sun, it was captivatingly beautiful and addicting. Or maybe I'm just heliophilic.

"Ms Smith, there's someone here searching for you," the kid called out, looking at man and the green eyed girl cautiously.

From my vantage point, Ms Smith walked out with a small towel on her hand, pampering her wet hands.

"Oh hello," she said, her brows raised curiously.

"Hi, I'm working for the US childcare services. And I would like to discuss about some things, do you have time?" He asked, releasing his hold on the little girl.

"Of course, lets go to my office," she replied, guiding the man to the room she calls her office.

Before the man followed, he kneeled down until he was eye-leveled with the girl and held the her shoulders with his hand. "You stay here for a few minutes alright, go talk to the other kids if you want but don't go out of this house. I'll be back," he said softly, hugging the little girl.

"Alright," she talked for the first time since she came in. It sounded beautiful. It was soft but it held a lot of power, even if it was just one word. I could imagine if she spoke a whole sentence, it could capture the whole world.

He stood up with a soft smile and walked towards the room in the corner while the girl stood in the middle of the room alone.

There were a few kids who were watching her, just as enamored and captivated to the beautiful girl as I was. None of us moved except for her. She was looking around, searching for something. That is, until she found me.

Her green eyes locked with my chocolate ones. Without saying a single word, she suddenly walked over to the couch where I was currently sitting on and climbed on it, sitting next to me.

Everyone was confused as I was. Why was she sitting next to the lonely weird girl in the corner of the room when there's tons of other kids she could go to.

We didn't speak, but for some reason, I felt safe. Her shoulder touched mine, along with her thigh. That's how close we were.

I turned my concentration back to the book in my hand and opened to the page where I left off. Page 2.

She peeked over and I feel her blazing eyes burning at the side of my head, causing me to turn to her once again.

She had captured my attention just by a look.

Again, she didn't talk, she just smiled widely, making her chubby cheeks to rise and her eyes to partly close. Her smile was contagious and I smiled back.

She looked at the book and squinted to look at the words printed on the paper.

"To Kill A Mockingbird?" she finally asked. I was speechless, how could she know. Has she read it? She looked like my age so how could she read the title so easily?

"Yes," I said simply, not wanting to sound as surprised as I was inside. Finally, another person who knows how to read aside from me and the adults in the house. I didn't say anything much. I didn't want to sound weird and scare her. I wanted her to stay here with me for as long as I could (Because I knew that at one point, she would leave.)

I never cared about other people's perception of me, but for some reason, I cared about hers.

Other kids had said that. They said that I'm too weird and that's why they didn't want to hang with me.

"I'm Lauren," she introduced, a smile still plastered on her face. Good, she's not scared or weirded out yet, I thought. Her name sounded beautiful, just like her face and her voice.

"Camila," I responded.

"You don't talk much, do you?" She questioned, her thigh pressing against mine as she turned towards me.

"I don't wanna scare you," I said honestly, causing her to roll her head back and laugh. Even as I was confused as to what triggered her to laugh, it didn't fail me to have the urge to make her laugh again.

"How would you do that?"

"People call me weird and it scares them to talk to me," I whispered, feeling somewhat vulnerable as I disclosed the one fear I had as a kid.

"Sometimes, the weird ones are the fun ones. I'm weird too and I'm not ashamed of it," she said, making me feel better already.

Before I could reply, the door of the office opened, revealing the man who was with Lauren 30 minutes ago.

"So I'll call you and we'll discuss it over the phone. I'll bring the paperwork and everything needed for her to settle in next week," he said, walking out the door while Ms Smith nodded.

Lauren's staying here?

He walked over to us and kneeled just like how he did previously in front of Lauren.

"I see you made a new friend," he started, looking at me briefly with a soft smile, "how about that Lauren? Would you like to stay here?"

Lauren was now excitedly jumping about on the couch, bouncing it. Since the time she came in, I couldn't see any childish behavior from her. She always looked in tact and patient, only talking when she felt like it. Until now that is.

And honestly, I don't know which I like more.

The man laughed at her antics and extended his arms in front of her so she could jump on him while he hug her.

He stood up with her still attached to his body, Lauren's little arms still wrapped around his neck. He walked over to the front door and bid goodbye to Ms Smith while Lauren moved around as an indication that she wanted to walk.

He untangled her and stood her up on the ground until she was highly capable of doing it herself. She ran back to me and said, "I'll come back, I promise."

She hugged me for - few seconds. While I tried to grasp on what was happening, she ran back to the door with the man without looking back.

-

After about a week later, while I was sitting on the lawn, reading the book at page 5, she came out of the black car parked on the side of the road in a white dress and a pink beanie with the biggest smile I have ever seen.

"Hey Camzi," She said, running towards me, only to tackle me to the ground with a bear hug.

"Camzi?" I squeaked, finding it hard to speak, feeling her choking my neck.

She pulled away and fixed her dress, "That's your new name. A special name. Like for me, daddy called me Angel."

"So is my name Camzi now?" I sat back up and closed the book.

"For me, yes. But only I get to call you that. To others, you're still Camila."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because it's a special name, silly," she laughed, sitting down next to me with her knees up.

"Why do I get a special name? Am I special?" I asked, my hands tangled together on my lap as a nervous tick.

"You're special to me," Lauren said, facing me, a smile lingering on her face with confidence.

"Yeah, well.. You're special to me too so I should have a special name for you too."

"Okay, what do you wanna call me?" She asked, intrigued at where I was going with this.

"Lauren.. Lau.. Lo.." I contemplated, playing with her name with my tongue. "Lolo?"

"I love that, Camzi and Lolo," she said and I felt proud. I never had the ability to change a person's name and the triumph I feeling was beyond anything I had ever felt. The way she smiled at the names made me feel special.

"Lauren, let's go in first," the man that came with her last week spoke, carrying two suitcases and a small backpack.

Lauren stood up, ran to him and took the backpack from him. Strapping the bag on her shoulder as she walked towards the house.

As she walked on the pavement, she turned back to me. "Camzi, are you coming?" She called out while I followed her gaze. Under the bright sun, she looked like a literal angel. Her hair was long, cascading down her shoulders and back.

I stood up, tucked the book on my arm and ran next to her.

-

"Lolo, wake up," I whispered, shaking her body frantically as she stirred awake.

"Yeah?" She croaked out, her voice raspy from the sleep.

"It's almost time."

"Time for what?" she asked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes in midst of stretching her body.

Instead of answering, I eagerly pulled her hand, making her stand up.

I dragged her to the window where there were already 2 chairs I placed next to each other before I woke her up.

"Come on," I said, climbing up the chair and waited for her to follow suit. She seemed to get the idea and climbed the other chair.

Just in time, the sun started to rise slowly while we leaned on the ledge, shoulder to shoulder.

I don't know how long we stayed that way, but eventually she said, "I love the sun."

"Me too," I answered, still looking in front as it unfolded.

"Maybe you'll be the sun one day," a soft smile lingered on her lips. If only she knew how much those words meant to me.

Maybe she does.

While she was looking at the sun, my eyes lingered on her. The sun shone brightly in front of us and her orbs turned bigger.

I didn't know anything about brunette and yet, I had never felt more secured that I have ever been.

And since that day, we would always wake up at that same time and watch as the sun unfolds in front of us together.

I didn't feel as lonely anymore.


	2. The Punishment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I already put a trigger warning on the description but in case you guys didn't read that, I'm gonna put one here. Don't read this if it could affect you in any way. With that being said, enjoy?

Lauren and I were basically inseparable the day she came into my life.

We would sleep on the same bed every night and wake up at the same time to watch the sunrise together. We would sit next to each other while eating at the huge dining table that no one, not even the mean kids, would jeopardize our rather dependent habit.

Sometimes, when luck seems to be absent and all of the chairs were occupied, we would sit on the same chair hip to hip, bumping each other's food that often elicit laughter from both our mouths.

School wasn't any different from home, we would always have breaks together. Even as she was a year older and a grade higher than me, it didn't stop her from spending her time with the probably lamest kid in school whenever she could.

And it's crazy if you ask me. I've seen her in her class - in her world - talking and capturing the attention of her large group of friends.

But every time the bell rung to indicate that we had a break from the long hours of monotonous voices coming out from our teachers' mouths, she would be waiting outside my class with a big smile that matches the glow on her eyes, then she would wrap her arms on mine as we walk outside.

She knew how uncomfortable I was to new people so she never brought her friends to hang with us. She tried once but it just ended with me looking down at my messily entangled fingers while I waited until they scurry away.

I couldn't help it. I was always uneasy at the slightest idea of communication and socializing.

And it's ironic since I lived with tons of kids.

I think it was because I was scared of the idea of people thinking I was weird if I opened up to them. What if I said something abnormal and foreign to them and they start to question my sanity.

So instead of going through with the possibility of that, I thought it was better if I was invisible. That way, they wouldn't look my way and notice my peculiarity.

Little did I know that not talking would result in that verdict too.

One time, a guy named Austin came and tried talking to me, pestering me into talking to him to the point of me fidgeting awkwardly. He saw it and pointed at me in front of all my peers, mentioning that I was odd.

I cried so hard that day.

Lauren eventually found out the reason as to why tears were endlessly pouring out of my eyes and came to him during break. She threatened him about breaking his apparently expensive toy if he kept that up.

He immediately stopped talking or even looked my way after that incident. If Lauren was anyone else, he would be deemed a pussy for being scared of a girl but it was Lauren and Lauren wasn't like any other girls. She was fearless and fierce. Strong and independent. Intelligent and honest. So honestly, I couldn't blame him for being terrified of her. She can be an angel when she wants and definitely a devil when she needed to.

I'm just happy that I was never the receiving end of her wrath.

Actually, if memory serves me right, I'm probably the only person she treated like a queen. I know what you think, isn't queen a tad bit exaggerating?

Well, it's not.

If anything, queen would be more of an understatement. Because she would do anything, and I mean anything, to make me at ease. One time, a year after we met, she carried me for half a mile to the point of her almost passing out.

And that was the day we became in love with the moon.

-

"Lolo, wait up," I shouted, my thighs burning as we ran around the playground playing tag.

The playground was about a mile away from the house. Ms Smith always brought us here every Sunday that it became a routine for me.

And I never break a routine.

Before Lauren came, I was always alone sitting under the shade the tree near the playground provided. While the others played, I watched them closely, observing things that kids my age shouldn't really pick up.

But I did.

Harry, a boy who was around my age, always brought a small toy to the playground and hid it under the sand. Then at home, he would say something about losing his toys so that Ms Smith could buy him a new one, only to be hidden the next month. He would sometimes bring the toys out surreptitiously and and played with them all somewhere hidden.

Taylor liked to play slide, pushing people down if they took time on top when in truth, she was the one who wasted their time as she sat on top of the slide for 30 minutes. I'm guessing she liked the idea of being on top of the so called world and the satisfaction of being able to bring people down by a mere push.

Zayn just liked to pick his nose a lot when he thought no one was looking. Maybe he was just digging for gold.

Anyway, when Lauren became a permanent member in my life, she had managed to convince me to play around the playground instead of moping below the tree like an adult, even if it was just us.

Sometimes, we played with the other kids, but only if Lauren and I were a team. If we played tag, we would be running around side by side either chasing or running away together. If we played hide and seek, we would be hiding at the same spot, no matter how hard it was for two bodies to fit in one hiding place.

That day in particular, Ms Smith was busy because she had to go to the hospital doing some adult check-up. But since I really wanted to go there (again, routine at that time was important for me), Lauren and I decided to walk to the playground; without the knowledge of Madison of course.

According to her, bringing us out were hard because we had no manners and she didn't want to waste her time searching for us at the end of the day.

So we basically ran away from home; even if it was just temporary.

"You're so slow... What would happen if you were chased by a zombie?" She asked, slowing down for me to catch up to her.

Despite her being competitive in games, I always found myself being the exception of that established fact. She'd intentionally lose if I did so we could be together.

That was how strong our dynamic was.

When I stopped running and started walking, I had realized how tired and drained I was so I dragged my body to the shade under the tree and sat down instead, Lauren following suit soon after.

Under the shade of the huge tree, silence ensued. So silent that she had taken it upon herself to entertain both if us by slapping around her bare thighs, trying to make rhythmic beats out of it and failing miserably. It sounded out of tune that my 6 year old self couldn't help but laugh.

"There's that laugh I wanted to hear," she said, stopping her actions on abusing her now red thighs. I looked over to her and saw that she was already staring at me, a smile ghosting on her lips.

Another silence as we both stared at each other.

"Tell me about your family," I blatantly asked, her facial expressions to contort into a frown immediately once I said it.

"Why?" She asked with a brow raised. It didn't sound rude but rather defensive.

"Nothing, I just want to get to know you. I never had a mom or a dad. Or even a family since I was born."

Realization hit her and her face softened drastically as she wrapped around her arms around my waist to side hug me. "If it makes you feel any better, you're my family," she whispered and pecked my cheek, causing a weird tingling sensation to erupt on the spot she had just kissed.

I was never used to physical affection like hugs and kisses. Ms Smith might be nice but she barely showed just how much she loved us through affection. She shows them by giving us her time and energy and I couldn't despise her for that.

But with Lauren, she never failed to make me feel loved. She would sometimes kiss or hug me at the most weirdest of times that I had gotten used to it.

"I have no dad and mommy fell asleep," she confessed after some time, answering the question I asked prior.

But before I could ask her to elaborate, Lauren had noticed that it was getting dark, meaning that we had to run home if we didn't want Madison to notice we were gone.

Lauren was faster than me, running ahead while I tried to catch up to her. But with my small 2 left feet, it was deemed impossible. I inevitably stumbled on a small pebble and it had managed to make me trip with the biggest bruise I had ever gotten. Lauren heard my small cry and despite the time we had left before Madison noticed, she turned around.

She ran back to me, cleaned the bleeding knee and carried me in a piggyback ride form. We were half a mile away from home by then but she didn't care.

She left no man behind.

Her pace was sloppy but who was I to complain? If it was the other way around, I would probably be dead five minutes in when carrying her. She was basically carrying another person the same size as her with her small feet and weak legs.

We arrived home when it was completely dark out. Just as she walked through the grass of the front lawn, exhaustion took over her and we fell down together. Removing my hold on her neck, I laid down on my back on the grass next to the panting girl while she turned.

We were then gazing at the dark sky that had many bright dots; stars as Ms Smith told me once. The moon was full, staring right back at us.

That's when it hit me.

"Lolo?" I said, making her turn her head towards me. "If I'm the sun, then you're the moon."

She grinned lazily, perfectly happy but too tired. "We're the moon and sun. Lolo and Camz."

"Yeah.."

"Lauren, Camila." A voice interrupted the both of us, causing us to wince outwardly and turned our attention to Madison standing on the porch.

Well, there goes our solace.

I looked at her stance; she had her hands on her hips, an angry frown stuck on her ugly face and her body as rigid as ever.

My eyes searched for Ms Smith's car but it wasn't there. And if she wasn't there, Madison never held back.

And that scared me because Lauren had never experienced her beating. She had scolded her, screamed mouthful of bad words at her, but she never laid her hand on her. Because Ms Smith was always there before anything escalated to physical abuse.

"Come here, the two of you!" She shouted, causing my heart rate to speed up profusely.

Lauren stood first, giving me a helping hand after. I tried to walk normally and hide my bruise as we walked through the pavement to her, hoping she wouldn't see it.

She hated bruises. She said that it would make us more imperfect and that would mean that it would lessen the possibility of people adopting us (not that she believes that we would be). But then, whenever she raised a hand on us, she just added more color in our skin so basically, whatever we did, we were always in the wrong.

But to my dismay, her gaze narrowed on my knee.

"What did I say to you about injuring yourself, Camila? Why are you so stupid? Now, no one would ever adopt you. Do you wanna stay here forever? Because I don't want to see your ugly face everyday."

I looked down on the floor, rather ashamed than anything else. I knew this was coming though. It always did. Lauren once tried to back me up, but it ended with her being scolded twice as much.

So she didn't say anything.

But she did give me comfort when I felt her hand found mine, subtly intertwining them together.

"Why are you mute? Are you deaf or something? And look up when someone is talking to, it's rude. No wonder you parents gave up on you," she continued to spit as she brought her hand to my chin, roughly tilting my head up.

Tears were begging to cry at this point. But I couldn't give her the satisfaction. Me crying at her dirty words would be expected.

And since I didn't cry, her sadistic self focused her attention to the both of us, searching for her next victim. "Where were you two? Do you guys want to get kidnapped? Are you guys that stupid? Who's responsible for this?"

Her eyes shifts from mine to Lauren's, waiting rather impatiently for one of us to speak up.

None of us did.

"If you don't talk, then I'm gonna punish the both of you. Now last chance, Who.Is.Responsible?" She said, punctuating each word to intimidate us.

And intimidate she did.

I wanted to say something. I didn't want her to punish a perfect girl like Lauren. I've been here all my life so one more scar wouldn't hurt. I didn't want Lauren's porcelain skin to end up like mine; faulty and flawed as Madison calls it.

But before I could voice anything out, Lauren spoke up. "Me. This is entirely my fault. I forced her to follow me to the playground. She didn't have a choice. I also made that bruise on her leg since I pushed her down."

My eyes grew wide. No, this can't be happening, I thought. She lied. She didn't force me. If anything, I was the one who forced her. I was the one who wanted to go to the playground for some stupid routine. I was the one who was whining about not being able to go. She just wanted to make me happy.

And she didn't push me. That was far from the truth.

But I couldn't say anything. Because once it was out there, it couldn't be erased. That was how Madison worked. If I contradicted Lauren's statement and say it was me, it would only make it worse.

So I didn't speak up.

I didn't speak up when Madison raised her voice on Lauren. I didn't speak when Lauren was dragged inside the house. I didn't speak up when Madison repeatedly punched her gut.

I was silent. But my head was screaming at me, shouting at how stupid I was for not speaking up.

No, I wasn't abused that night. But by the guilt I felt when I heard Lauren cry at every punch Madison gave, I might as well be stabbed on the heart repeatedly.

Lauren cried out in pain that night. But I was glued to the floor, silently listening to nothing and everything that was going on inside the house.

-

Madison was smart, she was smart enough to not make the bruises on us visible for Ms Smith to see.

But I saw them. When we showered together the next day, she had forgotten about the bruise and took her shirt off, causing me to bulge my eyes out.

I liked colors, like purple and red. They're usually so bright and it makes me smile everytime I see them.

And I like Lauren too. She's also bright and she makes me smile.

But to my surprise, Lauren and colors don't mix like I hoped they would.

The once beautiful sparkling colors of purple and red were now dark and nightmarish to me. It suddenly became my least favorite the day I saw Lauren's bruises. I loathed them.

To the point that every time I was given 12 color pencils, I would always snap the purple and red ones into half, throwing them out to the bin after.

Because red and purple reminded me of Lauren's bruises. And they also reminded me of my own stupidity because I didn't speak up faster that night.

Thankfully, there wasn't any green when I saw the bruises. I don't think I could handle hating green.

Because Lauren's eyes are green.

Green. That was my go to color when I had to draw Lauren at one point. We had to draw a portray of our 'family' and I guessed that she was the only one in mine.

So I drew her with my green color pencil.

My drawing wasn't perfect but it was Lauren and Lauren was perfect.

I was 6 and Lauren was 7 when she received that first beating from Madison.

It was the first for her but unfortunately, it wasn't her last.


	3. The Kiss

You know those events where it changes your life forever? That one rare event where it shifts everything you had planned? The one event where it makes your experience different from the others?

Well, by the time I was 12, I already had about 3 of those.

First was the part where I was laid on the doorstep in a small box and a worn blanket. It was dark that night and quite possibly raining - at least that's how my melodramatic self pictures it - by the time Ms Smith found me.

If I wasn't put there, I would still have a mom and probably a dad. I wouldn't be an orphan just like those kids in the house. I would have a real family instead of living in a concoction of different kids that mutually share the same situation as me - forsaken by our own parents whether it be intentional or not.

But that's kind of the silver lining of not having to experience a family from the start, isn't it? Because then, I wouldn't have to be sad over someone I barely knew, because after all, she's pretty much a ghost more than anything else. I didn't have to miss her because I didn't know her.

Some kids in this house, like Luke, lost their parents because of death. He lost both his parents at the age of 7 and that was how he was put in here. He said he remembers his parents and how great they were. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, you could hear him screaming from a nightmare; or rather a terrorizing memory. He even said that he still remembers the two yellow headlights coming his way while he was in the middle of the console in the car that day of the accident, singing loudly to the radio along with his parents.

Why he was alive and well was still unknown.

For me, I didn't have any memories of my mother. And that also meant that she was more of a dream and I could just picture different positive scenarios of why she left me. Like for example, she was in trouble and the only way for me to live was to put me in someone else's care; like Po from Kung Fu Panda.

But then again, as a curious kid, assumptions were never enough for me.

Second was the time when Lauren came into the house when I was 5. Her usual bright self had managed to transpose her colors into my already jaded 6 year old self. I felt like I was finally accepted into this world the day she stumbled into my life and since then, I was never alone.

I mean, at one point, I was. But that's besides the point.

The third one was the day Ms Smith died. You might've noticed that I used day instead of time. Well, that's because two major things happened on that fateful day.

-

14th October 2009.

It was a Wednesday afternoon and our last period for school that day had just ended.

2 years ago, I was able to skip a grade which meant that I was now in the same grade as Lauren. More importantly, the same class.

Lauren was jubilant when we first found out about it. Don't get me wrong, I was too. But my pragmatism - or rather overthinking if you prefer - took over and I couldn't help that sinking feeling that I would have to drag her into isolation for my own comfort.

Having lunch with her during break was one thing, having her by my side whenever class started was another.

And by dragging her with me, I was scared that she would realize one day how liberating it would be without me breathing down her neck in both at school and at home. I didn't want her to feel like my presence was more of an obligation than anything else. I didn't want her to feel like she needed to take care of me.

By that time, I had tried to explain to her that she didn't have to be beside me 24/7. When I had said that, I could literally see the pained expression from just her eyes. She probably felt as if I didn't want her. But that's the complete opposite of my initial intention; I wanted her so much that I didn't want her to get bored of me. It wasn't about me not wanting her, I just wanted her to live life at the fullest without me slowing her down.

And she did. I didn't know how she did it but she was able to squeeze what little time she had for her friends that they never felt like a substitute for me while she spent most of her time with me.

Walking over to Lauren with my blue backpack, I helped her pack her things. She fell asleep in the middle of the period and had only woken up when she heard the last bell rung.

Another thing that I don't like about us being in the same class is that there would be an unspoken competition when it comes to academics. There's only one First Place in a class and I was always that person, her being right behind me. I was scared that she'd resent me because of it.

She sat in the very front while I sat on the furthest back. Another juxtaposition between our obvious conflicting personalities. She liked the attention while I preferred being on the sideline of things. But still, we managed them very well. Something I lacked, she filled and vice versa.

"Thanks," she said hoarsely, sleep evident from just her tone.

Taking a water bottle from my bag, I extended it to her. We could read each other that well to the point that I knew what she needed without even saying a word out loud. She thanked me once more and drank whatever was left on that bottle.

We walked out of the school, stopping a few times for Lauren to greet her friends. They greeted me too, but it was more of like a forced one. If Lauren wasn't there, they wouldn't even bat an eye my way; I was more of a shadow of Lauren and honestly, I never minded it one bit.

We stepped our foot outside and the Miami wind immediately breezed through our hair, calming the both of us at how tranquil the weather was.

The calming before the storm.

Lauren had decided that it was a good day to walk instead of using the big yellow vehicle home and who was I to oppose her? What Lauren wants, she gets.

And on our way back, she had taken it upon herself to make another decision of taking a detour on our way back. So instead of going to the usual path, we went to another one where it led us to the playground we used to go to as kids.

We sat at the usual spot below the same tree, just listening to both our calm hearts and the sound of nature for a moment before she decided to occupy the peaceful air with her beautiful raspy voice. "I want a different name."

"What do you mean? Your name is beautiful. Besides, you have Lolo," I reasoned, recalling the first day when we created the special names for each other, smiling softly at the memory. We still called each other with the names but over the years, I had gotten used to call her Lo instead, seeing as Lolo is a bit childish for our age. She had also shortened mine from Camzi to Camz.

"I want a fancy name too," she said as she turned to me, showing just how serious she was.

"How 'bout I give you another name? Another name just for the two of us?"

"Yes please. Can I start with you first?"

"Give me your best shot, Lo."

She looked up, looking at the sky as if there were answers printed on it. "Charlotte... Buchanan."

"Buchanan? What kind of a last name is that?" I asked, laughing at how absurd it sounded.

"Careful now, you might actually offend somebody." She leaned back on the tree again, smiling while her eyes were still locked with mine.

"Fine. Charlotte Buchanan it is. For you, You'd be Lucinda Va-"

"Lucinda? Why does that name sound like a name Disney would use for an evil step-sister. Next please.." She dismissed immediately.

"You're not supposed to judge. I didn't judge your Buchanan," I whined playfully, folding my arms infront of me and pouted when I did.

"You're right, please continue Miss Buchanan." She snickered under her breath.

I ignored her and continued. "Lucinda Van Gogh."

She didn't hold back her laugh then, her head tilted back and her eyes closed shut. I just smiled because even if she was laughing at my poor choice for names, I was happy that I was the one who caused her relentless giggle.

She took a few deep breaths to calm herself. "Lu-Lucinda Van Gogh?"

"The Third," I added with a smirk.

"What?"

"Lucinda Van Gogh III."

"Why?"

"Fancy names always have those weird numbers. You come from a very fancy family where Lucinda Van Gogh The First was the founder of an island called..." I pondered for a few seconds. "Faraway Archipelago."

"Huh. How about the second Lucinda?"

"She just drank a lot. Not a lot of history there," I joked, nonchalantly dismissing the fictional character.

"And how about me?" She asked.

"Well... That depends on you, don't you think?"

"I guess so, but do you think I'd actually bring drastic changes in this world like those other Lucinda?" She asked seriously.

"You," I said seriously, fully turning my body to her. "You'd definitely make this world a better place one day."

She smiled softly and nodded, knowing how honest I was when I said it.

We didn't talk much anymore after that. We just leaned on the huge tree and looked around our surroundings.

Unfortunately for us, the cloud began to thicken and before we could even realize that it was about the rain, it poured, audaciously dampening our clothes when it did.

Rain was never my friend if I'm quite honest.

She laughed cheerfully and I thought that she was crazy for a second. Apparently though, my body had a different way of reacting to Lauren's sudden burst of joy as I began to follow suit. Careless, innocent laughter made its way out of my lips before my brain could stop it.

She stood up and took my hand. I thought we were going back home but just as I stood up, she dragged me and started playing with the puddles, giggling softly from time to time.

Here we were, drenched by rain, not giving two fucks about the world and not realizing that that was the last day we could ever be that free.

She dragged me around the different puddles, not caring about how Madison would react to how our clothes would be dirty because at that moment, all I could care about was Lauren and her laughs. The best thing I could do was to allow it.

I was brought back to the world when I became hyper aware that Lauren stopped sprinting and turned around, causing me to crash into her. Luckily, she was able to keep her stance upright and supported me throughout.

I leaned on her, my forehead on her shoulder while she whispers. "Hold on there, Rowdy..."

I laughed softly and pulled back, only to see her look into my eyes affectionately, making my knees grow weak once more.

Through the years, I've come to realize that I loved Lauren. More than I would like to admit. And sometimes, just sometimes, I felt the need to kiss her.

But as she gazed at me, I felt love and affection radiating out of her body, encapsulating the air of how she felt towards me at the moment.

Gradually, just like a magnet, our heads neared each other, making our forehead to collide.

"Is it weird that I wanna kiss you right now?" she whispered, grabbing both of my hands using hers. It was heavily raining and it was cold. But when she held my hands, warmth instantaneously spread through my body and my the back of my neck tingled in anticipation.

"Is it weird that I wanna kiss you too?" I replied after what took forever, interlocking our fingers.

"Do you want me to?" She asked nervously. "I want you as my first kiss."

I nodded, despite the lack of ability to do so because our foreheads were still attached. Fortunately, she got the message and moved her face closer to me.

Just before she closed the gap, an unexpected thunder came and rang through both our ears, causing the both of us to back away instinctively. She sighed but shook her head soon after, a smile painting her lips as if what we were going to do was stupid. That smile, however, didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Lets go back home," she said, releasing one of my hand while the other was still entwined with hers as she dragged me towards the way to the house.

I was a bit starstruck at first, having the inability to comprehend the situation since my insides were burning with fire at the moment.

We almost kissed.

But we didn't.

And that thought brought my giddy mood down considerably. I didn't know what to do or say so I just followed Lauren like a lost puppy.

I knew that if it wasn't for the storm, we would've legitimately kissed. But why did she stop? Was it because she thought that the universe was against us or something?

But this was my only chance to actually kiss her. I could almost feel the opportunity fleeting at each step we took towards the house.

So without a word, I stopped walking and tugged her hand, making her turn back towards me.

I immediately released my hold on her and moved them to her cheeks, attaching my lips on hers without a word.

IN THE FUCKING RAIN. HOW ROMANTIC IS THAT?!

It was soft and we clearly didn't know what to do. We were each other's first kiss and none of us had the capability to lead.

Using my instinct, I locked my lips with her lower lip and just spontaneously make some type of movement.

We pulled away after sometime as our needs to breathe started to consume the both of us. She looked like she was in a daze and I began to feel insecure.

Was that how people even kiss?

Just as I was about to ask if it was okay, she pecked my lips once and smiled brightly after. And this time, I knew her smile was genuine.

She took my shaking hand, calming my nerves immediately, and we continued walking home.

It was still raining but for some reason, the weather hadn't dampened my mood like it usually would. When we had arrived at our destination, however, well... let's just say it completely changed my outlook of the day.

Just as the house came into view, we heard a distinct sound of sirens nearing our home. The paramedics ran out of the car after they parked on the side of the road of our home and went inside with a stretcher at hand.

I was confused but the girl beside me knew exactly what was happening. With her eyes bulging out of her sockets, she held my hand tighter and dragged towards the house. When we were almost in, the paramedics finally came out. This time, they came out with Mrs Smith laying on the stretcher, looking pale and unmoving.

I was still confused. I never had an experience like that before. But Lauren had. And that was why her hand that was holding mine tightened more. Her other hand flew to her open mouth and her eyes began to water.

2 hours later, the doctor confirmed to Madison that she was dead. (Apparently she found out that she was sick just when Lauren experienced her first beating)

And sure, I never had an actual mom, but once I found out that Ms Smith wasn't going to be around anymore, I was as broken as any other kids who had lost theirs.


End file.
